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Monday, August 29, 2011

It's not all about me.

I'm sitting here thinking about my breakup. How my life needs to change before entering (or, hopefully, re-entering) a relationship. How things were in the wrong. How much I miss him. There are good thoughts, do not get me wrong. Good will come out of this. But that good does not always have to do with me. Maybe now I can be there for a friend, who may very well have it much worse than I do.

I know how it feels when you do something stupid. I know that gut-wrenching feeling of regret. I also know that feeling of thinking you have someone that is perfect, that you never want to lose. And then that little feeling of hope that you are left with when they are gone; that little feeling of hope that someday you will be able to run into their arms once more and love them all over again.

The toughest feeling for me right now is trusting that God will work things out. I want to trust that He will provide the perfect person, and that He will provide the perfect person before I grow up too much. As much as I like cats, I have to be honest with myself. I do not want to be the crazy cat lady. I want someone to spend all that time with (with or without cats- maybe a dog would do since the one I want to be with is allergic to cats). :)

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