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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Undesirable Retrospection

This was written for a school assignment. The first sentence is a quote from Edgar Allen Poe.
"During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens," there sat a man. His face was scruffy; there were dark circles under his eyes. The teeth remaining in his mouth were brown and tasted like tobacco. He sat at the top of a building in downtown Huntsville with his legs dangling carelessly above a fatal drop.
Fifteen years before the present day came to his mind, one moment in particular. He had sat there, lighter in hand, watching the flame in its mystifying beauty. He saw no such beauty; dark thoughts surrounded him. Satan himself was in the room. The boy's toddler sister sat on the floor playing with blocks, remaining in a sphere of young innocence. He could no longer maintain in this innocence because it leaves those who reach a level of maturity at which they understand their actions and the motives behind them. He sat there, flicking at the lighter, then glancing at the tot. Sizzling hair would make quite a show. This enjoyment, this wondrous thought, consumes only him who has been consumed by the darkest evil. He flicked the lighter closer and closer to his sister when a small understanding of fear entered her young eyes. He did not cease his approach.
The man's thoughts stopped here. He could live with the memory no longer. A long drop to a sudden stop was destined to be his fate.
By means which only God HImself understands, a girl thought at the exact same moment the same memory the man recalled. These two beings, having not communicated with the other since a time neither of them could remember, thought of this one particular moment in their past. She trembled in horror.
The blocks were forgettable and all but the layout between her and her eldest brother had been dismissed from memory. A small flame mesmerized her thoughts in their entirety. He beloved brother moved the flame closer, so she could see it better. She giggled, maintaining the bubbly innocence of her childhood. One glance followed. This glance into her brother's eyes burned her thoughts and was forever engraved in her memory. His eyes were not his own. There was an evil within them that she had never known before that moment. In that instance, in a single glance, her innocence was eternally ruined.
With every ounce of will power she had, she attempted to shake the memory. It was no use; that moment would haunt her until the day she died. The girl sheepishly looked in the mirror. She sat in a chair by her vanity looking into the eyes of the strongest, weakest girl she had ever known.
Her life, she felt, was not worth living. Smarts were hers for the taking, yet she did not think it possible. Beauty was possessed by many, but she was not one that multitude. She knew somewhere in the depths of her mind that these statements were indeed false, but a part of her could not accept that.
There is a point one reaches when despair, insecurity, and loneliness intersect. This point is reached all too often. There is no one watching the deeds so sadly done. There is no one to halt that slope leading to the ultimate death of one's soul. Nothing mattered to her; she had nowhere to turn.
The scissors were not sanitary, but that made no difference. She opened them wide and hacked away at her pale white forearm. For what purpose did this action serve? None that she could think of. Her long brown hair fell in her face as she hopelessly sobbed. She set the bloodied scissors down and wiped them off.
She did not hate her brother. It was possible that she hated herself, but that was a temporarily unimportant thought. Just as if someone had punched her in the stomach, the truth hit her hard. She loved her brother.
He would always be in her heart. She determined her life would be miserable if she harbored anything but love. She was not the only one who needed love. Her brother felt the need for love more than any being ever existing. She knew not the remorse he felt. His pain became his life which he had single-handedly ruined. Anyone who had ever felt the slightest sense of love towards him now cringed at his name.
The girl would loath her brother no more. She wiped the few stray tears left in her eyes away. Contacting him would be her first action. She would meet with him at a place between their two locations. Then she would look for him, and perhaps run into his arms. He would hold her in his solid, steadfast arms. Her eyes would water, and she would look up to meet his crystal blue eyes. A single tear would fall down her cheek and he would wipe it away. Neither of them would cry forever more. Lastly, and most important, she would tell him she loved him. There is a place in one's heart that every person with a sibling has; it holds a happiness like no other. She and her brother would be the most joyous creatures on earth.
The girl reluctantly ended this thought. Running to the phone, she realized she had no words. It did not matter. She loved her brother, and he needed to know.
The man looked towards the ground as he remained seated on the edge of the building top. His thoughts had no alternated from his young sister. The darkness that had taken over him so long ago was a mystery to him. WHat he felt fro his sister was love. He knew she must detest him. Fear would consume her at the thought of him. The only way she could live in peace was if they remained entirely in separate worlds. It was his fault, so he must fix it.
She called him, and his phone, sitting in his pocket, rang loudly. The ring echoed amid the buildings of downtown. He had no time to hear it. His body hit the ground and rested in a way which no one wishes to describe.
The call went to voicemail. In this message, she poured her heart out, releasing her feelings toward her brother. The things she said, she felt, could not remain unsaid for any longer. She summed up her thoughts and hung up the phone. A feeling of relief and satisfaction filled her soul.

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